WHITE LIES

White lies are usually described as being harmless; there is just something within me that doesn't sit right when I notice myself handing them out. Giving off similar feelings of discomfort to my innermost self, as my body feels when I unknowingly introduce some unhealthy bullshit to my diet.

I always thought a white lie was a habit I fell into a repetition of in order to avoid petty ass arguments that I didn't want to be involved in. However, learning to recognize them for the harmful routine that they could potentially become was very important when beginning my conversion to the best possible version of myself.

At a certain point in my life, a moment that is forever cemented into my brain, I claimed to stop lying to not only those surrounding me, but myself. I finally committed to putting an end to my own bullshit. Deciding to take on even the smallest of my distorted actions for the purpose of curing my bad habits.

I picked up new hobbies and broke down whatever obstacles that were obstructing my path in order to create my own success. What I was blind to at the time was that this was merely the first step up the spiraling staircase of self-improvement.

Several steps later, I no longer needed to focus on the same initial practices that I started with, as they quickly became a permanent part of who I am. As I eased up and took my foot off the gas, I noticed a whole new set of bad habits that began to morph. I struggled with the thought of recognizing these newfound habits, as it used to be so effortless to see what was in need of improvement at the beginning of my betterment journey.

So many switches needed to happen in order to get my money, relationships, and even overall health to reach new heights. Though a long process of trial and error is where I learned to keep them all balanced in order to avoid any sort of backtrack. Leaving myself stranded on cloud 9.

Like most other dreamers in this world, my successes just didn't seem to be enough. Not because I’m greedy, but simply because I knew what I was capable of, and I knew for a fact that it was much higher than my current destination at the time.

Endless questions came to mind when I began to think about reaching the checkpoints that I knew I was capable of. Such as, what the fuck do I do now? I need to put in more effort in order to continue to accelerate in life, right? Answer me this… how the fuck am I supposed to do better than my best? After I have already gotten used to placing my bullshit aside and putting my all into this life, it feels as if there is just no way I can top that.

Ironically, when I payed close enough attention, what I found was that those questions are their own lies. In fact, the most clever white lies I’ve let steep through my lips were a more serious offense than just lying to those I loved, as I had began to believe my own lies down to my core; essentially lying to myself more than anyone else.

You see, humans have minds that are capable of beyond what our intelligence allows us to see, the problem is that we butter this shit up until it gets too soft for us to take control of; as if we have been attempting to slurp up water with our hands when there has been a cup sitting right next to us the whole damn time. Reality is a harsh thing to accept, but confronting it honestly is the only proper approach to life. So why not get over our egos, take the shit that hurts head-on in order to address the problem, and just pick that fucking cup up?

All these statements we feed ourselves, such as “I’m doing my absolute best” or “I don’t have any extra time, I’m already too busy” are complete bullshit. Learn to get real with yourself and understand how much more you are realistically capable of handling before you actually hit your individual breaking point. In other words, quit being a bitch, take honest control of your life, and live like you’ve got a fucking gun to your head.

As we grow and convince ourselves to push past our capabilities and begin to realize our full potential, we open up a new spectrum of possibilities, an extremely broad one. It’s just so foreign to our eyes that any complications beyond what we have already completed seem impossible.

Personally, when I taught myself to not only notice, but understand the expansion of power I had created, I ran into a whole new drive that I didn’t even realize was there. Not only that, but for a minute I didn’t even fucking believe it was there at all. How could I be so unaware? My father always taught me that when the tank hits empty I still have a couple miles left, I owe that son of a bitch an apology for forgetting that shit.

Some of these words may seem basic or repeated, though it’s upsetting to realize that the people who’s first opinions are exactly that seem to be the specific ones who refuse to push their egos aside and reach their full potential, but not me baby. Maybe it’s because I tend to find comfort within the struggle, or that I understand why it’s important to dive deeper into the simple questions; I’m not exactly sure.

All I can tell you is that I’m not done learning. I’ll let my pride fall if I know there’s a possibility that I can push myself even further.

Talk your shit, judge if you want, but these words are for the ones who believe deep within their very soul that they are capable of a life far greater than the one society expects them to live. I’m done wasting my precious time and I’m sure that if you’re continuing to read this, then you are too.

Come face to face with these little white lies that you consistently flood your mind with, notice them, and train yourself in whatever ways necessary to break them from your everyday thoughts. Within that practice you will see your life begin to change in ways that truly matter.

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